I know some of you women out there have experienced being “ghosted” before. But listen up ladies! It’s not because of your unworthy and unlikeable. If you are in that state of mind than please keep reminding yourself that you are an amazing and lovable person. We as women don’t realize that we are doing these things that I’m mentioning below. Matter fact, they’re things that to us women, seem completely normal. One minute there is this deep connection and then the next it’s completely gone. Why is that? Let’s talk about the 10 things that automatically turn men off.
10 things that automatically turns men off
Here are the answers to why it possibly went “wrong” and may answer some of those endless questions you have had.
- Too Clingy, Needy, Manipulative, & Controlling: All of these four things are related and are a sure sign of toxic behavior. A controlling woman, desperation, and neediness is a major red flag to men. Ladies, this means stop playing mind games. Stop trying to play hard to get, trying to make him jealous, texting him non-stop, controlling where he goes, etc. Guys want “attention”, but they definitely don’t want you smothering them 24/7. They want a flexible woman who can set clear boundaries, but not control every move he makes. Take a step back and relax. Most of all, give him the proper space to miss you. From a female perspective, take the time while your away from your man to do your own thing. Stay on top of your self-care and keep yourself busy. This allows you to do your own thing while he is doing his own thing. Creating healthy boundaries and trust.
- Assuming: Okay ladies, most of us have “trust issues” and we all like to assume shit. We’ve been done DIRTY before and understandably our first reaction to being in a new relationship is to assume that this new guy MAY repeats our experiences before. The biggest turn off for a man is a woman who constantly thinking he’s cheating, lying, and assuming he’s not where he says he is. If there isn’t trust, there’s no absolute reason to continue being together. Trust what he said and just take things at face value. Plus, all the assumption making is taking to much of your energy and no one has time for that. You might as well call it quits and move on.
- Jumping the gun: Let’s just say, having an agenda when looking for a man really puts a strain on the relationship. We all want to be married at some point, but the problem is that if we’re RUSHING the process it only makes him more uneasy. To men, a woman is “hard to understand”. Most guys are scared away from the idea of putting a ring on it. Plus commitment alone can be a struggle for men. Let them warm up to you first. It can take men a few years before they are ready to start talking marriage or decide they’re ready to put a ring on it.
- Being too Self-Centered: No one wants to be around someone who is self-absorbed. If you are having a conversation with your man, refrain from talking too much, boasting, and talking more about “you”. All of that doesn’t interest a man. It makes it a red flag to get out of that situation quickly. Therefore, it is the reason he did not call you back.
- Complains constantly: Need I say more? It’s a bad habit for most of us women (I KNOW), but definitely is a huge turn off for men. Especially, if it involves excessive complaining over the exact same thing. Just relax, find more positive things to say than negative. Find more solutions than nagging him over the same thing.
- A woman without ambition: Men enjoy a woman who talks and puts in actions. If you talk about “goals” and that’s all you do is “talk” without action, that’s a huge turn-off. A woman without ambition is unlikely to succeed in life and says a whole lot about your character. Guys definitely need a woman who is going to go places in life and honestly, they want to be inspired by their women. They feed off that energy and drive you to have.
- Doesn’t carry a conversation: Men dislikes always having to be the one to begin a conversation with women. Having a bunch of topics to talk about is nice and quite interesting for a man. Ask him questions that you know will lead to a series of other questions. Try not to talk about boring topics.
- Being dishonest: The only way you will have a very successful relationship is to understand that communication is the key to all long-lasting relationships. It all starts with being honest from the moment you meet him. This includes your intentions, what you are looking for in a man, what you want out of a relationship, what your goals are, etc. Men don’t want someone who is just going to lead them on and play games. Guys pick up on that easily.
- Not being affectionate: Just like women, a man wants to feel like he’s important. He wants to feel loved rather it’s sexual, cleaning up after him, and cooking for him. It’s a different type of affection that we women want, but it does show that he means a lot to you. It’s more physical for men rather than emotional.
- A woman who does not practice self-care: Ladies this means to keep up with your hygiene, looks, and fashion. Once you stop taking care of yourself, you tend to fall off men’s radar and then you become unhappy with yourself. Men want women who can take care of themselves and are confident in who they are.
Quick Advice for the ladies
1 // LOVE YOURSELF first. This is huge! How do you expect to love someone else when you don’t even love yourself? I know it’s not easier said than done, so here are some quick tips to jump-start your self-care.
- Practice Self-Care
- Eat healthily
- Express gratitude
- Journal your thoughts
- Sleep properly
- Self-reflect / meditate
- Exercise regularly
- Visit friends/family often
- Train your mind to be stronger than your thoughts
2 // Work on your issues. Rather it’s a roller coaster of emotions that are still haunting you from your last relationship or just personal things that you need to work through. Women, that obviously need to work on themselves and most of all, their self-esteem. What you DON’T work on becomes a conflict in your relationship. You have skeletons that aren’t truly healed and that’s why I say work on loving yourself first and working through your demons. The best thing you can do for yourself is to begin the healing process within yourself, without having to depend on a man to love you and fill that empty void that you feel within.
0
