This topic has been weighing on my heart heavy! I feel like everyone comes to a point in their life where you need to evaluate who you surround yourself with. It’s super important to figure out who or what is mentally, emotionally, and physically draining your energy. Toxic people are draining.
A toxic person can be anybody in your life. This can be a co-worker, friend who you thought was a friend, a relative even, or even a partner. It doesn’t matter who or what it is, what matters is how to identify them and eliminate them from your life so that you can be the best version of yourself. Like they all say. You are who you surround yourself with.
In order to evolve as a person, you have to be able to let go of all the toxicity you allow yourself to be exposed to.
You may be the kind of person who sees the good in everyone. Even if that person is broken. That’s what makes you an awesome friend, partner, or family member. But if that someone is constantly draining you of your energy, maybe it’s time to look at things at face value. Ask yourself questions such as, “do I deserve to be treated this way?”
If you need a little guidance to help identify these kinds of “toxic” people, this post is for you.
10 ways to identify toxic people
1// Only contact you when they need/want something
It’s mind-blowing that some people think that they can show up in people’s lives only when they WANT or NEED something. Like, hello! How are you doing too? This really goes to show that they only want to take you for granted. They expect YOU to prioritize them, but will NOT prioritize you. If you come across the same person that’s been doing this to you over and over again, it’s best to cut ties. Don’t save a spot in your life for temporary people.
2// They’re manipulative
Nice, huh? You’re the one in the wrong even though the situation has NOTHING to do with YOU. It’s called manipulation. The good ole switcharoo. They don’t see a flaw in their actions and refuses to apologize for anything. They continue to nag you, guilt-trip you, and/or even control you. Do you really want these type of people in your life? These types of people are extremely toxic. Get out while you can.
3// Disregards your boundaries
Look, we set boundaries for a reason! Sometimes you have to cut ties and if you can’t cut ties (I get that) then you have to set boundaries. In all cases, we set boundaries to keep this person in our lives because we love them. But, if they can’t follow suit with the boundaries you set then maybe it’s time to cut your losses.
4// Never Honest with you
Honesty is key to a successful relationship/friendship. If this certain person is sounding like a broken record and can never own up to his/her bargain on being honest, why continue that relationship/friendship? It’s not fair to your own sanity. It’s clear that this person is toxic. You have to also come to the realization that you CAN’T change “everyone”. It’s just better to separate and move on from someone who is always dishonest so that they can work on themselves. You are not the problem. Remember that.
5// They make you feel insecure
This can also go for the self-absorbed ones. For anyone who makes you feel like you’re not good enough, have real self-esteem issues. If you come across people who only brags about themselves, likes to show off their high-end merchandise, and continues to belittle you in any type of way, girl bye. We don’t need those type of people in our lives, honey. I just refuse to surround myself with people who make me feel insecure or are not on the same wavelength. You should too.
6// Gossips
How I see it is, you’re not succeeding by talking about other people and discussing their personal/professional life with someone else. Most likely the person who is gossiping gossips for these three reasons;
- A – To feel superior.
- B – Is purposely stirring up drama to be vindictive.
- C – For attention.
- D – Out of boredom.
It’s just not worth surrounding yourself with someone who constantly gossips and hurts people’s feelings. What really makes you think is if this person is talking about you as well, behind YOUR back? Would you still want to talk to that someone? The best way to deal with these kinds of people is to avoid them. if you can’t avoid them, change the subject every time they want to dish about someone else business.
7// Judgemental
These are the type of people who are blunt and will always tell you how it is no matter what. They constantly look down on you and never give you a chance to speak your part. Most of all, judgemental people are NOT supportive. If you can’t open up your feelings to someone without them judging how you do or say things, then you’re better off without them. Be yourself. Don’t pretend to be a certain way to please these kinds of people. That’s exhausting.
8// Envious
This is such a terrible trait to have. I’ve seen this in a few people and it’s not cute. Envious people are just never satisfied with themselves. They behave like their superior to anyone just to mask their own self-esteem. You are like their target without you actually doing any wrong to them. These kinds of people are competitive. I’ve seen this in a few sibling rivalries or even friendships. They also imitate how you dress, cut your hair, play in the sport you’re in, or even follow your footsteps in the career. They become lowkey obsessive over you. So on and so forth.
10// Play the victim
Last but not least, those that play the victim card. This can also go hand to hand with manipulating. It’s quite interesting how people love to not take responsibility for their actions and pin them on someone else. They have a habit of pitying themselves and making others fall for it. And if no one falls for it then they do it to themselves. One way you can spot these kinds of people is how they think they are perfect. In an error or not, they put themselves on a pedestal with no care in the world. I find these people hard to deal with even If I tried. There’s no point in trying to show sympathy for someone who doesn’t see a wrong in their actions as well. Either you cut them off now or eventually, they will.
Here’s a quote that has made a huge difference in my life!
In Conclusion
Sometimes it’s easier said than done. I get that. You knowing how to identify these types of people will help you reflect on your self-worth and what you truly do deserve.
You deserve to have wonderful, supportive and loving people in your life. Just think. Life is too short to spend time with people who don’t motivate you to be your best self.
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